Couples find humor, frustration with 'The Nothing Box'

(FOX 13) - It's a romantic idea to think that you and your partner will always be in sync.

The fact is, sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't.

Sara Grottnick said she's experienced it with her husband of 22 years.

"He'll be doing one thing and I'll ask him about something simple like what do you want to drink? He won't be able to answer because he's doing his one thing and I'll ask him like three times," said Grottnick.

In his film "A Tale Of Two Brains," pastor and international speaker Mark Gungor explains that men and women are just wired differently.

He said men have a box in their brain that most women aren't aware of. He calls it the nothing box. Grottnick said she's familiar with it.

"I know that men seem to have one but women do not seem to have one," said Grottnick.

She said the nothing box is nothing new to her and her husband, Kevin.

"I know probably I just do one thing at a time, yeah I do I concentrate on one thing at a time," said Kevin. 

Sara admits it can be frustrating at times.

Dr. Nick Joyce, a psychologist at the University of South Florida, said couples sometimes interpret each other's behavior very wrong.

He said the nothing box is largely nothing to worry about.

"Men more than women are more likely to just exist to not be stressed out by anxious thoughts that are entering their heads," said Dr. Joyce.

He said it's not that men don't care, they just may not be aware.

"There's nothing wrong with a person having more anxious thoughts than their partner, there's nothing wrong with a partner not having any anxious thoughts at all.  The problem exists when the two of them cannot communicate well about what's going on in their relationship," said Dr. Joyce.

That's where it helps to talk about it.

"I think the most important of any relationship is me tell you what I need and you tell me what you need and then we need to be able to compromise because sometimes we just can't meet each other's needs in that moment," said Dr. Joyce.

And while they may not always be in sync, the Grottnicks have learned after all these years not to make something out of nothing.

"There's nothing to argue about," said Kevin.

"Because I'm right," joked Sara.