Doulas assist families through end of life care

TAMPA, Fla. - Leah Wooten often thinks about the good times with her friend and neighbor Chloe.

She was a dynamo. Just high performing, high functioning, incredibly intelligent. Very smart. Dedicated to seeing others succeed," said Wooten. "She was the best. Just the best."

Leah Wooten's friend Chloe died after a 7-month battle with cancer. 

The memories of her friend are bittersweet. In 2021, Leah found out Chloe wouldn't have long to live after she was diagnosed with cancer.

"It was a very aggressive cancer. It was a very short illness; from diagnosis to the day she died, it was seven months," Wooten said. "We were flailing. We didn't really know what to do. We were shocked. Just in absolute shock that she was going this quickly."

To help Chloe and Chloe's mother, Wooten enlisted an end of life doula for help transitioning. 

To help Chloe and Chloe's mother with that transition, Wooten enlisted the help of Lynn Principe – an end of life doula.

"Some people call us death doulas. Important thing to know is that we're a nonmedical role, and we support dying people at the end of their lives as well as their caregivers," said Principe. "That may mean the planning process, being there to advocate for their wishes, helping them make sure all their paperwork is in order. We'll be there through the dying process and support afterwards."

Wooten said Principe was indispensable.

"You think about how much we prepare for birth, but you don't really always have an opportunity to prepare for death, and we were able to do that in this situation," Wooten said. "She met with Chloe. Chloe was not conscious in terms of being able to communicate, but she was squeezing hands, and she was able to talk with Chloe and help her prepare. She was obviously, at 48, not ready to exit this world and Lynn helped her get there."

Principe showed Wooten and Chloe's mom what they could do to comfort Chloe.

"I'll give them things that they can do that helps them to understand the process and be helpful in little ways, whether it's just a cool cloth on their head or reading to them, encouraging them to be involved," said Principe.

"Prayed over her and wished her well and told her it was okay to go. And then she had us make these little bracelets out of string we could color coordinate, put one on Chloe and one on ourselves, and we wore it until it fell off, and it was just these ritualized aspects of saying goodbye that really made all the difference," said Wooten.

And even after Chloe's passing, Principe has continued to be there.

"I think one of the biggest parts of that end of life process at that point is caring for the caretakers, because they're the ones that I think are suffering most," said Principe.

"She kind of became like a guiding star to us. A touch point on how to handle this. And she's been in our lives ever since," said Wooten.

Principe said end of life doulas often work side by side with Hospice. There are also online schools for those interested in becoming an end of life doula.

For more information, inelda.org. For more information about Lynn Principe, visit dearlybelovedlife.com.